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Nabaza.net-The MarketPlace - Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon
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List Price: $14.95
Our Price: $10.17
Your Save: $ 4.78 ( 32% )
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Manufacturer: Three Rivers Press
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Average Customer Rating:  
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 818.602
EAN: 9780307405807
ISBN: 030740580X
Label: Three Rivers Press
Manufacturer: Three Rivers Press
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 336
Publication Date: 2008-09-09
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
Release Date: 2008-09-09
Studio: Three Rivers Press
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Editorial Reviews:
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DEADLY NINJA WISDOM FOR THE NON-NINJA
Carefully consider the joy of your soft-headed ignorance before you begin to run, flip, and jump along the Ninja Path.
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After much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja.
Most non-ninjas who handle these delicate, deadly pages will die–probably in an elaborately horrific and painful manner. But whether your journey lasts five seconds or five days or (rather inconceivably) five years, all those who bravely take up this text and follow the tenets and trials laid out within will die knowing they were as ninja as they possibly could’ve been.
For the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as:
•How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan
•The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin
•Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet
•Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab
•How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy
•Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks
•How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage
•What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll need to make it explode
•Death Aide certification
•And much more ninjafied enlightenment on every shuriken-sharp page!
Remember: People do not take the Path, the Path takes people.
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating:
Summary: Just hilarious
Comment: This is the funniest book I've read in years. I picked it in a bookshop randomly and as I opened it I started laughing. Then I was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes. I just couldn't stop. I had to hide in a corner so that I could calm myself and finally go buy the book.
This is much too good!
Customer Rating:
Summary: From Nonja to I.T.A.N. in a flash!
Comment: Whether you're up against a feral wion or building up your skill of smaste, this book gives you the step-by-step instructions to evolve from human to kickass. A must read for all aspiring ninjas.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Every Ninja Must Have One
Comment: this book is a must for ninjas and ninja wannabes!
It's also great comedy!!
I highly recommend it.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Hilarious!
Comment: This amazing book is a testament to the enormous self-confidence of the International Order of Ninjas. For a group with so many bloodthirsty enemies, the I.O.N. has little to gain and much to lose by allowing the publication of an in-depth examination of their methods and innermost thoughts. And yet here it is. This book boldly answers every question you've ever had about Ninjas, giving the reader a peak behind the face masks of the geniuses behind the Ask a Ninja podcast. Every page is informative, terrifying, wise, beautifully written and oh yes, hilarious. The laughs come at you from every angle when you least expect them, just like a Ninja. You don't have to have any interest in martial arts to love this book. You just need to like laughing and fear being gored from above with a bo staff. Get this book for everyone you know!
Customer Rating:
Summary: Greatness Incarnate.
Comment: This book is perfect for anyone who loves the Ask A Ninja series. It is filled with the ninja-humor of death and dying. This book is not for the faint of heart. If you are faint of heart, reading this book will be the most painful experience in your empty husk of the thing you call life, and you will probably die. So be careful, unless you are a ninja already, in which case you don't have to read a book that teaches you how to be a ninja, but it is nice to reminisce.
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